First Truth
What is, is.
Reality is not how it suits me to be.
It is not how it should be.
It is not how I was told it would be.
It is not how it was.
The reality around me is as it is.
Change can come only when we become aware of the present condition.
I am who I am.
I am not who I would like to be.
I am not who I should be.
I am not who my mother would like me to be.
I am not even who I once was.
I am who I am.
All neuroses begin the moment we try to be what we are not.
You are as you are.
You are not as I need you to be.
You are not as you were.
You are not as it suits me for you to be.
You are not as I want you to be.
You are as you are.
The definition of a mature and true relationship is the selfless effort to make room for the other so that they can be as they are.
Second Truth
Nothing good is free.
If I desire something that is good for me, I ought to know that I will pay a price for it.
Certainly that price is not always monetary (if money were all that was needed, it would be so easy!). The cost is sometimes high and sometimes very small, but it always exists. Because nothing good is free.
If people around me offer me something, if something good happens to me, if I experience pleasant and enjoyable moments, it is because I have earned them. I have paid for them; I deserve them.
Just to prepare the pessimists and to discourage opportunists, I want to make clear that the payment is always made in advance: the good I experience has already been paid for. (Payment in instalments is not possible.)
Third Truth
It is true that no one can always do what they want, but everyone can choose to NEVER do what they do NOT want to do.
Never do what you do not want to do.
If I am an adult, no one can force me to do something I do not want to do—provided I manage to free myself from the need to see others applaud me, praise me, or love me.
Learning to live according to this truth is not an easy task. And above all, it is not free.
(Nothing good is free, and that is a good thing.)
The cost is that when someone dares to say “no,” they begin to discover some unknown aspects of their friends: the nape, the back, and all those places that become visible only when the other person leaves.
